Summary (incl. main characters, stakes, setting)
Sally and Kathy are sisters living in Connecticut. One school morning Sally, Kathy, and her boyfriend Billy are late driving to school. He is speeding and swerves to miss hitting a deer, instead hitting a tree that kills Kathy (this happens about 1/3 through the novel). The remaining story is mostly an examination of grief and the feeling of brokenness it will permanently create in a person, and the blurry distinctions between obsession and trauma bonding and love. Sally and Billy bond in their grief and fall in love without allowing themselves to accept it for years, until the very end.
How I discovered it (rec, why now)
I read Allison Espach’s previous book The Wedding People, which also broached some heavy topics but was way lighter than this book.
How I felt (thoughts on writing, themes, plot, pacing)
- Really enjoyed the second person POV of Sally talking to Kathy. We get a much more intimate portrait of both Sally and Kathy through this, and the first third depicting their sisterhood was so real and relatable, especially as a shy younger sister myself.
- I understand how the love story aspect of this book might be alienating, but I think it was an interesting narrative choice to really delve into what grief does—isolate people, even within the family, because it is so hard to look at one’s own pain, let alone hold each other’s. That element was perhaps played up because this is a novel, one that needs real stakes, but I’d argue that it’s a worthy metaphor for the irreplaceable bond among survivors.
- Sally’s mother was the true tragic character of this book. Her depression and psychosis through her struggles with coping, which further drive the family apart, felt really painful to read.
- The final act of this book was pretty weak, though I enjoyed the “Hurricane Kathy” conceit. Why did we need another romantic character introduced, just to highlight the emptiness she feels with any man except the one who would most specifically understand her and the shape of her grief?
Top quotes
- Teachers didn’t like it when you didn’t participate…Silence made them uncomfortable. Silence was like a big watery void that reflected back whatever they feared the most.
- It was only when Dad ordered Mom to stop crying that I understood we were bullies. We ordered her to be happy as if we knew what it meant to be happy. As if a person was not happy because they simply forgot to write it on their to-do list. We knew from experience that nothing we said or did would work, but we couldn’t help ourselves; it was our job as the slightly happier people to make her happier. We were like corrupt policemen at the dinner table. We applied blunt force. We did not listen very well, and often spoke in commands. Go outside. Get a job. Do some gardening. Take a walk. Try harder. Don’t give up. Don’t be depressed. Stop crying. Which was exactly the kind of instruction that made a crying person cry harder.
- Sometimes it doesn’t seem like anything has really happened since your accident, like I have been out at sea for too long, where the weather is too calm and I can’t feel the waves.