By Sheila Heti
Summary (incl. main characters, stakes, setting)
The protagonist contemplates whether or not to have children. Amid this question also comes up the matter of her relationship with long time partner Miles and the intergenerational relations of her to her mother and her mother and her grandmother. In the end she decides not to have children. Her contemplation takes place over 5 years by which it is almost not feasible. She is pleased with this choice.
How I discovered it (rec, why now)
Read February 2019. First (and only?) Sheila Heti book read. Writing up these notes in 2025, there is a quote that stood out to me (“alone…” below)
How I felt (thoughts on writing, themes, plot, pacing)
What I really remember about this book was its innovative structure. The arc follows PMS > bleeding > follicular > ovulation, with narrator’s moods and time period matching the menstrual cycle. Narrative form usually follows the male-oriented climactic arc. Honestly this might be the work that opened my eyes to cyclicalframework
Who would like it
Women contemplating motherhood, what makes a meaningful life
Top quotes
Alone, one feels the whole universe, and none of one’s own personality. Maybe it is the feeling of my personality that brings me to tears. Where there is no personality, there cannot be tears. solitude
Our lives are meaningless, but life is not—life is hilarious and wonderful and brimming with joy. Life is pure freedom and it contains everything—even this dismal, grey human world. meaning